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Posted by aaron at 02:01PM, Friday, October 31st, 2003

Post-Debate Analysis

After hearing Mr. Bush's comments, I realize that the reason I have had trouble finding hi-tech jobs in the last couple of years is because my secondary school failed me. If only, instead of going to the sister-school of Phillips Andover, where Mr. Bush went, I'd gone to a N.H. public school in this age of unfunded no-child-left-behind. God, that shoddy secondary school experience, attending classes with the sons of U.S. Senators, where parents' weekend brought fleets of Bentleys and Ferraris...

And that $200 tax break from Mr. Bush really helped offset all the taxes I paid on unemployment, which the president opposed extending back when I was on it. And it's a good thing my Cobra benefits, which ran out, since I haven't worked at a job that provided health care benefits since 2002, applied to my same-sex spouse. Oh wait, they didn't. And if they had, thanks to the DoMA, which Mr. Bush criticized Senator Kerry for opposing, I would have had to pay taxes on those benefits, too.

Well, at least with Mr. Bush's plan, I'll be able to go onto a high-deductible, low-premium catastrophic health care plan, to pay for the 9 prescriptions I fill a month, which supplement the bodily systems (unimportant ones -- liver, pancreas, digestive system...) damaged by auto-immune conditions associated with my father's exposure to Agent Orange in the Viet Nam war, which Mr. Bush opted out of. Oh, wait, I guess that health care plan won't work so well for me. Maybe I'll go to community college to learn how to get a job to pay for the $800 a month out-of-pocket those drugs would cost me. Wonder how that's going to effect the kids of servicepeople in Iraq, who are still exposed to "low-grade" uranium and plutonium weapons -- you know, the kinds that seem to have caused similar auto-immune conditions to mine in the kids of vets from the first Gulf War.

And that child tax credit really helped me, too. Oh, wait, it didn't. And in Florida, where Mr. Bush's brother reigns, us gays can't adopt children at all. And even if we could, only one of us would be recognized by the Federal government as a parent. Thank god we don't have to pay the marriage penalty, though, right?

Hmmm. You know, now that I think about it, most of the words that tumbled out of Mr. Bush's mouth last night were either outright lies, or just deceptive. Like how he cut Pell grant amounts, but more people are getting them now, because more people are poor enough to qualify. But like I said, if I'd gone to one of these cutting-edge public high schools instead of college and grad school, I'd have had a job for the last four years, and I wouldn't have to worry about paying off those college loans! Then again, if Mr. Bush weren't in office, perhaps I'd still be able to deduct the interest I pay on them from my Federal taxes.

Well, at least it's a good thing the rich aren't taxed very much any more, because all of those S-Corps. I've worked at... wait... Nope, I haven't ever worked for a corporation that paid taxes as an individual. Hmm. Kinda gets me thinkin.
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